Who's Invited to the Wedding?

Weddings are so, so, so expensive! You can only imagine how tough it is for a bride who is on a strict guest list number figure out who and who doesn’t make the cut. People sometimes forget that bringing a guest to a wedding means more $$$ in the bride and groom’s eyes - so don’t be offended if you don’t get that +1 to your family or friend’s wedding.

Our rule was simple: If you weren’t married, engaged, or in a serious relationship at the time we drafted our wedding guest list, then you wouldn’t get the +1. We didn’t want to go back and forth if someone started to date someone a few months before the wedding because if we let that person, then we’d have to let this other person, and so on. I’d rather invite someone that I knew who was on the “maybe” list than a significant other of someone that I’ve never met before. And never ask someone if you can bring someone if it’s not clearly stated on the envelope or reply card - that just puts the bride and groom in an awkward spot (unless it’s an honest mistake).

To specify if our guests were allowed to bring someone to the wedding, we first worded the outside of our invitation as the following:

• Mr. and Mrs. John Smith (married couple)
• Mr. and Mrs. John Smith and Family (married couple plus family)
• Mr. John Smith (single man)
• Ms. Jane Doe (single woman)
• Mr. John Smith and Ms. Jane Doe (engaged or serious relationship couple)

We never put “and Guest” on the envelope because it felt very impersonal. And because we did know (most of) the people that were coming to our wedding and/or guests that people were bringing, we just listed out their name instead.

Now for the reply cards, we wanted to specify even more clearly the number of people that were invited. That way, there would be no guesswork if they were allowed to bring someone or not. I had seen different cards where there would be an option along the lines of “___ seats reserved for your party.”

So, for the “yes” option, we added the “of ___” so they knew how many seats were reserved for them. For our responses, we didn’t want to do the traditional “accepts with pleasure” or “declines with regret” - they both sounded so formal and so unlike Josh and I. Instead, we did:

• ___ of ___ will be joining the party!
• ___ Sorry we can’t be there - we’ll be celebrating in spirit!

Just another helpful tip people have mentioned to me to deal when dealing with all of the incoming replies - number the back of your RSVP cards to trace it back to an invite on your guest list! I heard that there’s nothing more frustrating then getting a reply card back that people are not coming and trying to figure out who it is.

Happy guest listing!